A Divorced Mother's Life and POV from Soup To Nuts........

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Job Interviews and My Experience So Far.....

Today I went on a job interview and it was way different than I thought it would be. This particular job I was interviewing for is for a Chiropractic Assistant. All in all there were about 12 women, they sat us down to watch a video and then made us fill out a 3 page questionnaire. After we were done that they brought is in one by one to interview us. This part went rather well for me and I feel really confident. Hope fully in a couple days I will have a new job and life will be a little easier for this writer. Personally after the last few years I've had I deserve a break. So I pray that the Almighty grants my wish and I get the job!
There seems to be a pattern for me when it comes to job interviews in that I get a couple and then for 6 months nothing, and then I get a couple, and then for another 6 months nothing. Needless to say the job market in my town is dwindling. Families are leaving to go out of province for jobs in Alberta and Saskatchewan. More people are going on social assistance and unemployment. Not a good employment scene here at all. I wonder how much longer I'll have to endure it as well before I finally pack up and leave for another town. As it stand now I am about 80 percent there already, but family guilt so far has prevented me from making any real substantial effort to do so. There are a few other factors preventing me as well, like my Church of which I feel so at home in, and I can't say that about any other church I have ever been to in my life. Secondly, my friends who I would get to see even less of than I do now. My daughter is ok with us moving anywhere, but I am sure once we did it she may change her tune. For right now it is all up in the air for me. So I will just concentrate on this one job first and then a few more before I make the decision that is right for me and my daughter and not caving to the pressures of family and friends. Maybe its selfish, but I already know that more opportunity for myself as well as my daughter especially lurks closer to Toronto, and  as she grows older my daughter would have wanted me to move anyway considering what she says now that she wants to do in life. So uncertainty at its best, when all I want is a clean getaway and a final plan. Such is life I guess.

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

If Facebook is like Crack then Pinterest is like.....

So like I don't have enough things to do in my day than spend another hour online feeding my growing Pinterest addiction. Seriously if they are making any money at all on this website then they are sure to surpass Facebook by the end of the year. For those who don't know what Pinterest is (shame on you), basically its like an online picture book. Members upload favorite pics of animals, quotes, food, places, things, people, etc and other members re-pin and re-pin and so on and so forth. Lately there has been some buzz about copywrite issues and what it could mean for those who pin their own original stuff and re-pin that of others. The far reaching implications are, and there are a few, that you could be held liable if original said owner of a pic or a pic of a product gets sold by pinterest or by anyone who got the pic or pin from your boards and they make a profit then not only are they liable for prosecution but you are as well. That's about the gist of it, and there are a few other ways that you could get in trouble for what you pin and re-pin in terms of original content. Talk about taking the fun out of pinning! Although there hasn't been any official statement that I am aware of that states that you could be sued because of all of this, I would highly recommend that if you are going to pin something or re-pin something try to put in the description where you got it and who it belongs to, then you have officially given credit where credit is due and anyone who misuses it after you will be the one in trouble and not you. I generally like to err on the side of caution, especially when its comes to things like this so i am going to try to go through all my own pins and make sure credit gets made due where it is needed. So go on and continue to enjoy the site and pin and re-pin to your hearts content but ever aware that somewhere, and at sometime the other shoe may drop. Here is the link to my personal Pinterest page... http://pinterest.com/mbearjg/

Saturday, 9 June 2012

Lazy Saturdays with Friends...

As my daughter is away at her dad's for the weekend I was able to go out to breakfast this morning with a friend of mine I hadn't seen in a while. And during that 3 hours we were together we laughed and told stories, and even had a chance to stop a yard sale briefly. One thing to know about my friend Maggie is that she is totally awesome of course, but also that given any topic we talk about she is able to turn that conversation funny. No matter if its religion, or dating, or speculating about my ex's maybe shady under the table employer (private joke), she has a gift for turning the ordinary into fun or funny as it were. I know she's reading this going, "oh stop it, give me a break", but she really is one of the funnier friends that I have whether she believes it or not.Which just makes sense all the more that she is my friend because she is just as twisted as I can be too. Its funny how our friendship has evolved too because we met initially when I was still employed full time at a major car manufacturer, and we would always be friendly and talk sometimes. It wasn't until I left that job that we became better friends even going for the occassional lunch or breakfast a couple times a year. It gets me thinking how much closer we would probably be if we had taken the time to cultivate that friendship earlier, although I am totally glad we hang out now. All this gets me thinking about my relationships with the other friends I have, and how I could do better. Whether it be work or illness or demands of a family, these days it seems it is getting harder and harder to hang onto our friendships, especially when you've known someone a really long time, and couple of mine fall into that category. I have been learning that its not necessarily personal when a friend can't talk on the phone or meet me for lunch because they are too busy because I understand the demands of the world and the pressures it puts on us mom's or even the single friends I have like Maggie who maybe have alot on their plate and just don't have the time. I have learnt to let that stuff go because its not important, and the things we love about our friends are still there even though we see less of them. So today I am grateful for all my friends, the ones I see sometimes or even the ones I hardly ever see, because at the end of the day they are still my friends and I will always be there when they truly need me. And Maggie I really hope that you do write a book someday and unleash all that creativity I know you have in you, because you are worthy of praise and let's face it, the world needs more people like you who can make people laugh and go hmmm at the same time.

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Ray Bradbury One Of The Last Of His Kind

One the things I remember best growing up was watching The Ray Bradbury Theatre. The Opening scene where he goes into his study, sits down and looks all about the room to get inspiration for yet another chilling or inspiring story. It could be a baseball or a sword or skull or crossbow. No matter what the object was you were assured that the story would be full of adventure and suspenseful and even stories to inpire your own imagination.
Maybe that`s why I aways wanted to write, to create my own fantastical stories, ones that held the readers attention and made them really think of what was implied between the lines. Beholden to the the central character whose job it was to scare or root for.
One of the best writers of the later 20 century is now gone and in his place a whisper is left. To know more about Ray Bradbury and his works check out his website here: http://www.raybradbury.com/index.html
Whatever your favorite novel (mine is Something Wicked This Way Comes) or short story of his make sure to pass it on to the next generation.

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Some Days I'm Just a Worried Mom....

So lately my daughter has been having some health issues of the intestinal nature which, I have to admit scare the heck out of me. Never have I seen so much blood come out of a 9 year old. So for the past year, off and on, she has been having these problems and going for tests. So today comes and yet again another test. This time it was for a Meckles Scan which checks for foreign tissue in the bowels that can get irritated and tear and bleed. On one hand this explains all her symptoms, but on the other I really hope thats not the problem as it involves a bowel resection to correct it. So here is my baby getting an I.V. like a champ and managing to keep still on the table with the large camera above her, her veins filled with radioactive isotopes, for an hour. Her insides light up like a Christmas tree and the particles highlight certain parts of her intestinal track. Very cool to look at, but not easy to understand what these pictures mean. I guess that's why I'm not the one getting paid to interpret the scans. After all is done and the I.V. is out they give her a Big Ol' Cherry slushie and usher us along. This is only one part of the journey of all the tests and blood draws and xrays that my girl has had to endure this past year, but i have to say she is to me the bravest kid I know. I am more scared of the tests for her than she is. Imagine that! lol So the moral after all is that some times we need to drop down to the level of our children to gain the fearlessness and courage to get through such things. Sometimes our children are stronger than we are, and everyday I look at my daughter and I am amazed at the young lady she is becoming. So unafraid of life, and of taking chances. Telling me to relax when I really need to, because sometimes our children are more intuitive than we are. An that`s not scary to me anymore, because it gives me hope that my kids ( this includes my step-son who I am sure will be featured in another blog someday) will grow up to be wonderful and successful adults. So medical issues aside I try not to worry because we can be our own worst enemies when it comes to our kids, and I will stop worrying about what it is that is wrong and let the doctors do their jobs. Which for me is hard, being a bit of a control freak, but hey I`m not the one with the PHD.

Monday, 4 June 2012

The Link To The Old Blog Space


This is the link to my old Blog page before I moved it over the new one. On it you will find my older blogs that you can enjoy. I welcome any comments or even critiques. I am continually working on my craft and have always found it helpful when others give their own ideas on my writing. I thank everyone who takes the time out to read my Blog and get to know me better. Blessings to everyone! :)

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D-i-v-o-r-c-e Canadian Style!!

Whenever anybody asks me what the first thing I decided to do after making the choice to split with my now ex-husband I tell them I poured myself a stiff drink and left the reality till the next day. Then I contacted one of the most respected divorce lawyers in my city and started on my journey of the down and dirty deeds of becoming a divorcee. For some it is simple, sign a piece of paper, wait 30 days and its over. For me it dragged on close to 3 years before I could finally say I was a Mrs. no more. I had no idea how hard and emotionally exhausting the process would be, but even though I lost my shirt and some of my sanity in the whole ordeal, it was worth it. All in all we went back to court about 5 times, argued and threatened, and yelled some more, till he finally got the hint I was serious and was not bluffing when it came to my demands. I am glad that the circumstances allowed me to get what I needed, which I am not sorry to say knocked my ex down his self built pedestal a few rungs. Sometimes people need a wakeup call. Unfortunately he still feels he got shafted because I am not paying him support so he could sit on his butt and play video games all day. I took all the debt which then caused me to file bankruptcy and even though he is ordered to pay child support he has done everything he can to avoid paying it. Even going so far as to go on welfare, and hide income from a full time job paid under the table. Needless to say my ex has a a lack of morals and decency. The only money I ever see is from his gst and  from the welfare he is on which give me maybe $30 a month, all garnished of course because he won't give the money up easily. You would think that a grown man would want to make sure their kids are taken care of and avoid illegal activities in the pursuit of non-compliance. Well Canada definitely has a new breed of man and they are as I like to call them "Couch Surfing Deadbeats". This breed of man preys on women who are employed, sucks them in, only keeps their job until they know they can get away (although it briefly) with quiting, and dig in their claws. These men do not let go easily and usually will do anything short of murder to be kept. Oh I'm sorry, you want how big a TV for your birthday? No go get a job and pay for it your damn self. You all get the general picture here. Sorry I went all crazy for a bit, but the ridiculousness of the situation, and of the quality of man I was married to truly gets me pissed off at times. And I'm entitled, at least I think I am. If you asked him, he would say he got screwed, even though he left the relationship almost scott free save for the child support he has to pay. So too bad buddy, you reap what you sew and hopefully learn from it and grow. I am still waiting on that part......

Saturday, 2 June 2012

The Self Imposed Hiatus- Why it is crucial to your creativity!!

During the last month and a half I have been on a self-imposed hiatus. I had been finding that I was under too much stress and writers block was getting the better of me. Not that I didn't want to write, and engage with the world, it was more of a literal blank in my mind when it came to all things creative which in my experience is not a normal thing for me. So I did the hard thing and tried to turn off and tune out. Being ADHD myself you can imagine this being like trying to climb Everest, but it was necessary that I do it because of this reason. For too long I, like many others who are plugged in 24/7 to the whims and demand of the Web, was feeling like I had nothing to say. My creative juices weren't flowing, the well was dry and I was slowly realizing that I needed to recharge somehow. Anyone who knows me, knows that I always have something to say about anything. Being quiet and reserved are not my strong suit which is why I knew I needed some time to work out the figuritive and literal knots in my muscles and mind. When you give too much of yourself to family and community and WWW it can have an effect on you I like to call "Being in a Sinkhole".  It is just as it suggests. You are continually being pushed and pulled down by all the forces of demand and your thoughts and energy drain out of you till at the end you are sitting there in front of computer screen staring mindlessly at the blinking cursor on the page. Nothing to say, to write, to think, to sing, to draw. This becomes the tragedy of everyone. So next time you feel yourself feeling this way, just get out and unplug everything your tapped into. Go for a walk in a forest, sit on a beach, read a real hardcover, visit family, and most of all just listen. And do it for as long as you need to. The art of doing nothing important can be beneficial for us creative types as it forces us to let the mind wander, the words to flow, the ears to tune in to more than what is really being said or heard. Anyway you feel that you must do it, make it happen or rather just let it happen naturally. I think as a whole society is forgetting what it means to relax. Money being the goal of alot of ambition in life makes it difficult for most to take the time to do something for themselves. Experience the work and creativeness of others to inspire yourself. This is important. Creating works means nothing if it can't be enjoyed and appreciated, and not just by others, you should love what you do, and taking the time to recharge will make you better at your medium. This is all my experience. Maybe you have a different view or process, whatever it is don't ignore it. Savour solitude when you can and soak up appreciation when it is offered.Just a few nuggets that I have realized works for me and my life. What works for you? How do you recenter yourself? Really think about it.